patterns

1:  a form or model proposed for imitation :  exemplar

2:  something designed or used as a model for making things <a dressmaker’s pattern>

3:  an artistic, musical, literary, or mechanical design or form

4:  a natural or chance configuration <frost patterns> <the pattern of events>

5: a length of fabric sufficient for an article (as of clothing)

6a:  the distribution of shrapnel, bombs on a target, or shot from a shotgun

7 :  a reliable sample of traits, acts, tendencies, or other observable characteristics of a person, group, or institution <a behavior pattern> <spending patterns>

8 a:  the flight path prescribed for an airplane that is coming in for a landing

9:  test pattern -a fixed picture broadcast by a television station to assist viewers in adjusting their receivers

10:  a discernible coherent system based on the intended interrelationship of component parts <foreign policy patterns>

11:  frequent or widespread incidence <a pattern of dissent> <a pattern of violence>

Maybe the question should be , What are they NOT?

Most of the time, its easier to observe someone else’s “patterns” than your own.

We get in our little routines with repetitive habits that feel so “comfortable”  and overlook the pattern we are leaving behind.

What happens when you break out of  your pattern?  Well, if you were a pilot or a tight end, you might be chastised for not following the prescribed pattern.

If you were making a dress or a cake, you could take some liberties, but the overall end result would be very similar with the original pattern.

An exemplar? I suppose that would follow the “patterns of expected behavior” or “scope of practice” for professionals.

We all understand a “pattern of violence” or a “weather” pattern. I can even follow the cold fronts and see where the rain is likely to occur based on the collision of pressures.

What about #4, a natural configuration. Isn’t that what the work of Dr. Masaru Emoto describes?  He observed patterns and linked them to higher purposes.

What about # 3, an artistic, musical, literary or pattern of form?

What about Peter Seeger and Turn Turn Turn ?

What about Frank Lloyd Wright in Falling Waters?

What about Vietri dishes?

If you think about it, this sums up most of everything we see and hear. Perhaps, even touch and eat. I might be that all of life is a confluence of patterns.

Which take us to #10.  What could this mean that is greater than foreign policy?

Break it down……..”a discernible ( recognized as separate and distinct)  coherent ( logical and easy to understand) system (harmonious arrangement)  based on the intended( expected to be such in the future)  interrelationship (mutual) of component ( ingredient) parts ( unit or integral element)”

Restated :  ” a distinct logical harmonious arrangement based on what is expected to be mutually integrated parts.”

Therefore, I state boldly, the whole world is a set of patterns and we ( humans) and all that makes up our conscious and unconscious selves are a set of patterns.  Hmmm…..what a circular world we live in! Think about it, we are always wondering, which is greater “nature or nurture”? Both.  They create patterns within the individual that set the tone for the life they live.

No, I have not taken leave of my senses. 🙂

I had just one little pattern on my mind, when I started down a crystallizing path.

Have you noticed that we establish patterns within distinct relationships?

Each of us are engaged in a different way with different people.  I watch myself and wonder- and worry- and wink. I am fully aware, but have chosen not to do anything, to this point. I am considering it. I am aware. I am open. I am observing.

Like Peter Drucker said,“Your first role . . . is the personal one “It is the relationship with people, the development of mutual confidence, the identification of people, the creation of a community. This is something only you can do.”  “It cannot be measured or easily defined. But it is not only a key function. It is one only you can perform.” 

I don’t need a tool to measure this phenomena, I just need to DECIDE what I will or won’t do differently.  Even an organizational management specialist understood, its all personal.

What am I talking about?  Patterns of inter-relationship. Patterns of communicating. Patterns of presentation. Patterns of mutually acceptable standards within a one on one exchange.  We have contact with groups, but it boils down to 1:1. It is how each person within a larger group connects with you- or perhaps does not. Groups have patterns of relating, but that is an assumed action based on group norms. We all conform to some degree to be part of any group.  To be accepted. To be a member. To be cohesive.

The thing I am contemplating is natural and normal.  It is almost like a chemical reaction. Go back to those water crystals. Did you notice that Emoto demonstrated the change in the frozen water based on different music and different words? Why are we any different? If two people ( any two people) have 1:1 contact, there is a “pattern” that develops from the “ingredients” we bring to the mix- like personality, prior experiences, openness, tendencies, perceptions, age, gender, ethnicity, family of origin, reason for contact, intentions, reactions, responses, similarities, comfort zones, ….I could go on and on.  I have noticed this in every single experience.

It can range from my children – let me assure you that all three are my “favorites”, so it’s not a preference- it’s a difference that is based on elements we cannot fathom- like a water crystal that forms that is unique in each relationship.

It is present with my granddaughters- all are incredible and special in their own way- but the way we engage is unique to “our mixture”.

It is present with co-workers. Ever noticed how you are different, with different people?

How some of your leaders can extract an incredible amount of good results with little effort- because something within you connects on a core level with them and the results are outstanding? While other leaders cause a dissynchronous clang, like cymbals clashing everytime you are supposed to be accomplishing something and you end up at odds or at cross purposes?

It is present in intimate relationships and whether you are together or not, that dynamic never changes. It seems like it is established instantaneously. It’s a click and then a set!

Like a jello mold, that we fit inside and never melt out of. Or cooked Hershey’s cocoa icing- its all about the timing and the way the mix comes together. It can be too soft, too goey, too hard, too sugary or just right. If you somehow find that right combination, it’s pretty difficult to resist and perfection on a fork. You can’t get enough!

Some people are great- apart, but not together. Some people are great together- but unremarkable apart. Imagine the great couples, if one had been missing. Franklin D. and Eleanor Roosevelt. Why do we love that line that men say in the movies-  Jack Nicholson “you make me want to be a better man” or ” I am half the man I used to be”.

Bottom line- we are more changed by who we engage with, than we realize. Each contact with another person is an energy exchange. We are in a solid state until we mix with another. Each person brings out a different connection point. Think about chemistry and the periodic table.  Elements connected based on their number of electrons to form strong or weak bonds. H 2 O- each element is different ( 2 gases) but all together, it’s water ( a requirement of life)! Remember?

Think about the ways you connect with different people. Observe yourself and consider what aspects of you bonds with particular aspects of that other person. Why? Because each 1:1 in our life is either nourishing or draining… somewhere on a continuum of positive and uplifting or negative and hurtful.  Prioritize the good and minimize the other.

If we stop for a moment, it is possible to perceive a pattern in our lives, the motivators that have influenced us become more obvious.  We are able to see life unfolding from both ends at once, coming into the present moment. But until we have got a certain point of realization, this is not possible, because everything is still seen as a series of apparent causes and effects.
– Reshad Field