quit?

Listen to this pod cast- it highlights the positives of quitting….or being a smart quitter!

The Upside of Quitting They debunk that age old phrase- ” a winner never quits and a quitter never wins” or vice versa.

I have a friend right now who has chosen a mission for whatever reason. At one point, he said he was out to “clear his head”, “forget a woman”, “see some old friends”, and he’s probably cast out a dozen other reasons for this adventure of riding over 3000 miles up and down and all across the USA on a Harley.

Today, I would have told him to “just quit”. Quit while you are ahead. Quit while you can. Quit trying to do something that is starting to look like self flagellation. Self flagellation? “the act of criticizing or punishing oneself”.

Why do I think that? His handsome face is unrecognizable from sun and windburn. His eyes are almost swollen shut. He looks like he’s been beaten by a ruthless boxer to a puffy pulp. I started asking myself, “why would he do this?” Or “why is he just stopping in bars he has haunted before as he makes his way deliberately and publicly from point A starting, to a preset course, to point B, C, D, E, etc…..ending with ZZ  or some point beyond.” I think I might have figured it out. He can’t quit.

There is too much at stake. He must have pledged an oath- to some woman, to his soul, to his friends, to his Harley, or to his honor. I don’t know. But, I think he is confusing opportunity cost with sunk cost.   “Sunk cost” is about the past — it’s the  time, or money, or sweat equity that you’ve put into something, which  makes it hard to abandon. I am not saying he should abandon- just delay. He could take a break and relax his timeline and maybe even his outlined route.  “Opportunity cost” is about the future. It  means that for every hour or dollar you spend on one thing, you’re  giving up the opportunity to spend that hour or dollar on something else  — something that might make your life better. If only our dear friend weren’t so  worried about the sunk cost, perhaps he could seize an unseen opportunity. If only he could quit. Or slow down. Or take a side trip. Or fly to see a friend in the middle of his route and have a little down time to let his face heal.  He has no one to answer to & nothing to atone. He has friends and family “with him”, no matter what. Who is brave enough to suggest it?? Not me!!!

I would never, ever call him a quitter. That’s what makes it so hard. He sets a course and does not veer from it. His judgment is sound, but sometimes even the best laid plans are meant to be adjusted. The idea of “regrouping” is must more palatable to quitting.

Don’t get me wrong. I have wanted to quit several things and said I was and almost did. Quitting is SO hard. Like my girlfriend Betsy said once, “I have never set my hand to anything that was not successful, so don’t you worry- we will succeed here”. I guess he must have Betsy’s approach. I have no doubt he WILL succeed. He already has accomplished a list of things beyond many men’s wildest dreams.

But, succeeding may not have anything to do with whether we quit one thing to choose another.  I have heard people say, “Never start something unless you intend to finish”. I have heard, ” Can’t is a coward, too lazy to try”. I have heard, “Count the cost, before all is lost”. These are hard lessons and no one can tell another when enough is enough.

But, I think the line is crossed when you are hurting inside and out…sometimes the pleasure ain’t worth the pain….”my partners been pleasure, my partners been pain“. There is nothing friends who care for him can do but watch and wonder. Will he get to the other side? Will he chuck it and come back to his life? Will he make a new life? I guess we all have to take it as it comes- sometimes it don’t come easy. ( Stevie Nicks)

One friend advised, why not take in Bike Week in DC? He might. He can change course.  It would be a nice break…..time to think in comfort about the pros of opportunity and the cons of sunk cost. Smart fellow, I am sure he would catch on real quick!:)