the eve

Time to take the Christmas trees down and get ready for the New Year.

If I am honest, I would like to do less. It would be nice to have fewer things that I am responsible for. How do you prioritize and cut back?

Its supposed to be easy.

Suze Orman says, “People first, then money, then things”.

The Bible says God first, then family,love your neighbor as yourself.

My List:

1. Family- elderly relatives that depend on me for managing caregivers and filling in the gaps where I always have. Family- granddaughters that are 7 hours apart and miss spending time with me. Children who would like to see and hear from me occasionally- daughter daily, sons occasionally. Boyfriend- who expects time and attention in enjoyable activities. Dogs- who are totally dependent on me now

2. School and Work- finishing a degree and working long hours. Two jobs- thinking of a third. It’s time to seriously consider having one job.

3. Non-profit historic volunteer work- big year coming up- 300th celebration. This blog. Writing for a magazine ( I gave that up for 2015).

4. Friends- 3 or 4 close friends. I do go out to eat or chat on the phone, but not every day. I text and email a small group, share pictures, look at facebook and draw comfort from my core group, as well as provide a listening ear for them.

5. Physical health- last on the list- I should move it to the top. It takes a lot of time and energy. I am not sure I can get these other things done, if I move it. It is usually left wanting. What will be left undone or what can I “not do” to do this?

What do I want to do?

Nothing and everything….I gave up the monthly magazine articles since someone else could fill in. I cannot give up the school work. That is almost completed and has to remain a high priority.  Working? I have to maintain a certain income level to pay my bills. Nope, I can’t really reduce that. I could revise it- if I choose another job or consolidate several jobs to one. Which one?  A new one? Those are all possibilities, but I can’t do anything about that until at least the fall, 2015.

#1 may intensify. These people and little furry friends could take up 100% of a normal person’s time. I wish I were in the normal zone and could devote all my time to them.

#2 is born of necessity. After the degree is completed, perhaps I can settle in on one job and have a lot of time freed up.

#3 is important for my creative side. It’s an opportunity for expression. I cannot give up my little random musings on this blog. I cannot give up the historic work. I like it, better than anything else that I do.

#4 might have some wiggle room. I could take facebook off my phone and withdraw from “watching” my friends lives and liking things. I could restrict the hours that I spend with them. I already have put some friends on the “back burner” and realized at Christmas that I haven’t really had much contact with them. Is that because I didn’t do all the work or they allowed me some grace to give myself some space or both?

#5 is an undone and not likely to move up unless a miracle happens. A change of heart? A new vision? A requirement? Someone close to me once said, “If you spent as much energy on yourself as you do all these other things, it would be amazing”. It takes a lot of organization and commitment to exercise regularly, take your vitamins everyday, shop and eat healthy, get good sleep, stop worrying, schedule checkups, do your nails, soak in tubs and nurture yourself. It would be 2/3 of your day, if you really did it right. You have to shop thoughtfully to dress well, do laundry, keep your closet and dressers in order, polish your shoes, organize your jewelry, maintain fresh makeup, spend time with yourself getting ready for everything. You need to get up by 5 am to get coffee, exercise for half an hour, prepare a healthy breakfast, shower and get ready. That takes you to at least 7:30 am. Then, it’s work or school until 5pm. Vitamins, grocery shopping, laundry, walking dogs, cooking a healthy dinner, preparing for restful sleep and in bed by 8pm. That’s 10 hours of relax/ sleep time- little tv in bed- then, 3 hours during the day, then 3 hours in the evening…..when does anyone do all these other things?

I don’t think I have time to work. How can I give that up? Did I even list housecleaning? That’s on the weekend, when you catch up on #1, #2, #3? What about spiritual time and recreation? When do I go out on the boat? When do I spend time in nature or think about nothing? Do people make lists? Do they limit their lists to be sure they have time?

About 8 years ago, I had an awakening moment. I made some positive moves. It would never have occurred to me that I would be right back in this saddle again. Did I backslide or is it just easy to back slide? Do I want to do all this and if so, is it healthy for me?

Today, I see the pattern and want to spend my time in less intensity. If I followed Suze, I’d keep #1 and #2 in top priority since they are people and money- maybe move #5 up since I am “people” too. I would call the dogs “people” since they depend on me for their survival. They are not things….but neither are #3 and #4. They are “people” or involve people who depend on me. Do I have any “Things” on my list?

Yes, I do. I am doing most of #2 for my house. If I don’t work, I have no where to live. On the other hand, I could live in less or live elsewhere and work less. I work for financial choices I have made regarding things, cars, education, etc. I could make different financial decisions and work less. I don’t get paid for #3. Many people would not give their time away like I do, but I really feel this work is important to the future.

How can I spend days or months onboard a boat, when I have two little love dogs? It’s not possible. And, there is no one standing by to doggy sit for free. And, there is no option for them to come along. I guess I will have to focus on the #1 responsibility- two love dogs. I have been reduced to driving a “dog mobile” for a car,  packing “diaper bags” for dogs to travel. I can’t leave them alone, for long. They need me. Do I need them? That’s the next question. Let me ponder it.